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Blue Cross Blue Shield of Massachusetts



Couples: Do You Know How to Fight Fair?

By Chris Woolston
CONSUMER HEALTH INTERACTIVE

It's a fact of life that nearly all couples argue. It's also a fact that many relationships manage to weather these storms, while others don't. How much do you know about resolving conflicts and protecting your relationship? Take this short quiz to find out.


1. Noted psychologist and relationship expert John Gottman, PhD, has identified what he calls the number-one rule for successfully resolving conflicts. Which of the following statements represents his advice?

a. Always stand up for what you believe in.
b. Always be willing to give in for the sake of the relationship
c. Always make it clear that you understand and accept your partner as a person.
d. Always keep your emotions in check.

2. Happy, successful relationships never dissolve into shouting matches. True or false?

True
False

3. Telling your partner exactly how you feel can quickly solve almost any disagreement. True or false?

True
False

4. No one is ever "right" in a marital argument. True or false?

True
False

5. As with any negotiation, you don't want to be the first one to tip your hand. After a big fight, you should let your partner make the first move toward reconciliation. True or false?

True
False

6. You should almost never resort to ultimatums, no matter how strongly you feel about an issue. True or false?

True
False

7. During arguments, regularly engaging in contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling can doom a relationship. True or false?

True
False

8. If your partner has hurt your feelings badly and then tries to make up, it's better to wait a while to respond or even to ignore him or her completely. True or false?

True
False

9. Some conflicts can never be resolved. It may be painful and frustrating, but you may have to agree to disagree. True or false?

True
False



Last updated Aug 31, 2009


Copyright © 2003 Consumer Health Interactive, a CVS Caremark company