Learning how to relax and reduce stress won't make it disappear from your life. But taking charge of the stressors in your life -- and adapting to those you can't control -- can keep stress from overwhelming you and affecting your health.

Now that you have some stress-busting tools to draw on, set some goals for using them. Use the SMART system when you set your goals:

Specific: Decide what you want to achieve and then set a specific goal for achieving it. Let's say you have a weekly meeting that stresses you. Your specific goal for the next meeting might be to have all your preparation done two days in advance.

Measurable: Your results should be measurable. In the example above, that might mean listing the documents, research, or phone calls you need to do to prepare for your meeting and determining when you'll have each of these items completed.

Achievable: Don't program yourself for failure by setting an unattainable goal. If you need help doing research for your meeting, ask someone you trust to help you.

Rewarding: Give yourself a reward when you achieve your goal -- make it something like a new CD or meeting a friend for a movie.

Trackable: Write down your goals. Keeping track of your progress can help keep you from slipping back into old habits. Note how your meeting goes each week -- are you sticking to your goal of being prepared two days in advance, or are you losing ground? Make any adjustments necessary to stay on target..

Print out our Goal Tracker to help you set and measure your goals. Start small. Don't try to tackle all your stressors at once. Decide on a strategy to manage one of them. You may have to try more than one strategy before you find the one that helps you reach your goal. Stick with it. Once you've got that stressor under control, set your next goal.

It's important to be able to tell when stress is creeping up on you, so that you can do something about it before it becomes overwhelming. Remember the signs of stress from the first class? When you start noticing those signs in yourself, it's time to practice the stress management techniques you've learned. Use methods that have worked for you before or try something new. The more tools you have at hand, the better you'll be able to manage your stress.

Like anything new, learning to manage stress takes practice. Don't get discouraged. Pick a stress-reducing technique to try and give it a fair shot before giving up and trying something else. When you feel yourself starting to tighten up, take a deep breath through your nose and exhale through your mouth a few times.

Here is another relaxation exercise to try when you have a little time alone. It releases tension from your body by alternately tightening and relaxing different muscle groups. Wear loose clothing for this exercise, find a quiet place to practice it, and relax in a comfortable chair. Sitting in the chair, tighten each muscle group for about five seconds, and then focus on relaxing it for at least 30 seconds. Repeat once before you move to the next muscle group. It should take you about 10 minutes to do this exercise.

•Upper face: Raise your eyebrows and hold for five seconds. Relax for at least 30 seconds and repeat.

•Central face: Squeeze your eyes shut and wrinkle up your mouth and nose, feeling the tension in the center of your face. Hold, then relax and repeat.

•Lower face: Clench your teeth like a snarling dog, pulling the corners of your mouth toward your ears. Hold, relax, and repeat.

•Neck: Touch your chin to your chest and hold for 5 seconds. Relax, repeat.

•Shoulders: Shrug your shoulders up toward your ears. Feel the tension through your shoulders, head, neck, and upper back. Relax and repeat.

•Upper arms: Pull your upper arms back while you press your elbows in toward your body, keeping your lower arms relaxed. Feel the tension in your upper arms, shoulders, and upper back. Relax, repeat.

•Hands and lower arms: Make a fist and flex your wrists. Feel the tension in your hands and lower arms. Relax, repeat.

•Chest, shoulders, upper back: Pull your shoulders back as if you're trying to make your shoulder blades meet in the middle of your back. Relax and repeat.

•Stomach: Tighten your abdominal muscles and try to press your stomach toward your spine. Relax, repeat.

•Upper legs: Squeeze your knees together and lift your upper legs off your chair. Feel the tension in your thighs. Relax and repeat.

•Lower legs: Lift your legs, with your toes flexing up toward your body. Feel the tension in your calves. Relax and repeat.

•Feet: Turn your feet in and curl your toes upward. Relax and repeat.

Don't try to address all of your stressors and symptoms at once -- that can set you up for failure. Instead target one or two stressors that are particularly troublesome. With a little practice you can learn to keep stress from overwhelming you. To be successful, keep a few basic ideas in mind:

•Be patient -- it takes time and practice to break old habits..

•Be realistic. Know what you can handle and what you need help with.

•Don't demand perfection in yourself or others..

•When you're feeling overwhelmed, take one thing at a time and deal with it.

•Get regular exercise.

•Get a good night's sleep.

•Be flexible. You may need to compromise to get things done.

•Develop an emotional support system. This can consist of friends or family members who will listen when you need to talk, or others going through the same stress you are.

•Stay motivated. You can do this!

-- Nancy Montgomery is a senior editor at Consumer Health Interactive.

References

First published March 23, 2006
Last updated May 14, 2008
Copyright © 2006 Consumer Health Interactive

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